On Being Ninjaed

I thought I should follow up on my WriteOn Con experience, now that it's been about a week since I participated.

Overall, I give the experience a solid B+

It was a lot of fun to hang out with a different group of writers for a little bit.  Not that I'd ever be looking to replace AW.

There were a lot of interesting things going on at the con, a few WTF things, and a few things that weren't really new information--but the theme was back to basics and it really did do that.  I liked interacting with people.

And I liked that I built up the guts to finally share my work with the public.  Here's the thing (or at least the thing for me), until you share, it's easy to live in a fantasy bubble.  It's easy to pretend that you could be writer, even though you have no idea if people will like your writing.  Obviously, I like my writing.  I think it's good enough--or will be good enough someday.  But sharing that first piece of work can really burst your bubble.  Especially when you share over the internet.  It's so easy to be critical when it's not face to face.

It took a little bit of encouragement.  A little bit of trying to get people to tell me it was a bad idea.  And then I shared.

And then the comments started coming.  Most were good (yea).  A few offered some good suggestions (even more yea). Most said they would keep reading even though there were flaws (triple yeas).

And then it happened.

A ninja found my story and thought it was worth the time to comment.

I can't really share my first reaction to noticing a ninja had posted on my thread (I can't share inappropriate words here, just in case), but there was a little bit of sweating.  Then I was braver than I'd ever been and I clicked the thread to read what they said.

I was prepared for the worst.  My (first draft!) writing wouldn't be very good. I was wasting my time, I should find a new night job.  I built it up a lot in my head.

But it wasn't bad.  It also wasn't good.  It was rather neutral.  He explained some things that didn't work (which all made sense to me), but the best thing about the whole experience?

He said he would have read on.

That was worth more than anything else I heard that weekend.  An agent would think my writing was worth reading more of.

So I came out of the experience feeling better about my life as a writer.  I can do this.  I'm not about to give up on it.

It was the best thing that happened to me all conference.  Even though his post started with some negatives, it helped me realize that I am a writer.

How did I figure all this out?  By showing a little bravery.

Being Brave

Some of you already know this week the WriteonCon is going on.  For those of you who don't know what that is (Mom), it's an online writing convention.  There will be some agents, some organizers, and a whole bunch of writer's looking for their break into publishing. And some other writers hoping to learn so they can improve their craft.

I'm in that second group of writers.  I want to learn more about craft and hopefully next year, I'll be ready to post a query and hope for an agent to ninja me.  (The agents wander around the forums with ninja names, posting on anything that interests them).

The most awesome part?  It's free.

I signed up for the forums and critiqued for the first couple of days.  And then I started to think.  I could post my first 250 words up there.  Other people were posting things from stories that weren't finished, things that weren't ready to be queried.

So I considered.  And then I sent my 250 words to my mom and my best friend.  Hoping they'd tell me, no it's terrible, don't do it. They didn't.  They told me to do it.

I had to suck up some courage and be brave.  It's hard putting your work out there.  I mean, I've posted work before.  I used to write fanfiction--which can still be found online--and some original work.  But they're all from before I was serious.  Back when I thought I knew what being a writer meant (sitting around and browsing the internet until inspiration hit you).

I read some reviews.  Are people going to tear my work apart? Am I really far away from publishing?  At the end, I realized I was afraid.  I was letting fear hold me back.  Fear that someone was going to burst my bubble and tell me that I couldn't be a writer.  That I didn't have the talent.

But I can't live like that.  You can't be a writer if you're afraid to share; if you're afraid of some rejection.  So I sucked it up, put on my big girl pants, and posted.

Nothing terrible has happened.  Of course, I've only gotten two reviews, but I think that sort of points to what I was already thinking.  That I'm an OK writer.  There's nothing terribly wrong with what I do, but I might need more experience and practice to really get there.

If you're interested, here's the link to my story Magic Wanted.  Feel free to read it and tell me what you think :)  Or don't.  I've discovered I'm OK either way :)